My Wish List Wednesdays, in the past, have been about books and which ones that I want. However, my Wish List Wednesdays will range anywhere from the books I want, to what I want out of my life and family, and I want to I want to do with school. This makes sense, right? Because my blog is about all of the above. So, today’s Wish List Wednesday is going to be about what I want out of my life and my current situation.
As you know, I am a single mom. However, the father of my son and I have been talking recently and he would like to try and make things work again. Below is a list of wishes that pertain to my life as a single mom and the dilemma I face with deciding what I want out of my life:
1. I wish that breaking up with my significant other wasn’t such a huge deal
2. I wish that it was easier making a decision about being with him or not
3. I wish that having a child didn’t make this decision so much harder
4. I wish that breaking up with my son’s father isn’t going to alter Hunter’s view of parents and relationships when he is older
5. I wish that I will make the right decision for not only Hunter, but for myself
6. I wish that I can be strong enough to stand by whatever decision I make
7. I wish that I can finish school this next year and graduate
8. I wish that I was more proud about my situation
9. I wish that I was healthier for Hunter
10. I wish that I was more confident
11. I wish that I can be a better role model for Hunter
12. I wish that I wasn’t always so worried about what my parents/friends think about my life
13. I wish that I could be more outgoing
14. I wish that I wasn’t so selfish and materialistic
15. I wish I was closer to God
There are a lot of things that I wish for, but I think 15 is enough for today’s Wish List Wednesday. School starts in a month and a half. I wish that I can make a decision about what I want for Hunter and my life before then. I know it will be hard, and the battle will rage on for awhile. I just want to be strong and get through this. I feel like this decision shouldn’t be so hard to make, and that maybe I’m just being a weak, selfish, little girl about the entire thing (I’ll be the first to admit that); all I know is, my son’s father hasn’t been able to give me what I have wanted in a relationship (or, maybe my idea of one) in three years. Why would staying another year be any different?
I don’t want to waste anymore time. I also don’t want to keep my son from his father and the family relationship he deserves.